A little about me...I am a seriously messed up soul...since i was 12 i became invloved in lovely lifestyle o bulimia..which means (for me) that i will do everything in my power not to eat in front of people...i can go days with out eating and then something twiches in my brain and i will eat everythin in site...i can and have eaten 4000 cals in one hour period...i think proceed to take 6 laxitives and barf it all up...the laxs are just to make sure.
I am tired of the constent disgusting battle...i am 24 years old and my teeth are of the verge of rotting and i have maintained a groteque 131 lbs on a 5`9 frame...i sicken myself and my lack of willpower..my dream is to cease eating..cease exsiting.
I created this blog with the hopes of keeping myself on tract and to quite this b/p nonsence and restrct myself to no more then 400 cals a day...when i am not fasting.
my current weight as of this morning is 131.1
my short term goal is 115
my ultimae goal is 98...the perfect number. once i reach 98 i will b safe...i will be happy..i will b loved.

sorry to cut this short...nonsences has arised..more later


Here it is the day before all hallows eve..as a child i looked forward to this day more so then the thought of santa and the easter bunny...my family always get together for a annual party where eating is a must...i used to look forward to this parties and now all i do is dread and make excuses...the thought of food..the very look of food brings me to sheer terror.....

the beggining...

hello to all....

this is my first blog and first blog posting....

I have decided to create at blog to document my weightloss progress...hatred of food...self injury..and every other issue my pathtic mind and soul deals with that I cannot speak of face to face...I also have high hopes the some of the readers of my blog will post helpful comments and let me know that i am not alone...truth be told, i am feeling very alone.

Now, I am going to begen a week long fast tommorow morning (10-29-07 start end date 11-2-07)

I will be taking my begining measurments and offical start weight tommorow morning before the gym. I plan to weight myself every morning before the gym and will document it on here

I need to lose as much weight as possiable before the dreaded thanksgiving and my ultimate goal is a perfect 98lbs. Now I am going to stop all this typing and will tell you more of myself, my goal, and all the other yada yada stuff.....i promise and hope things will become more intresting!